Don't worry, Be Happy

So today I am in a bit of a whimsical mood.  It is take your child to work day and I realize some things we do as adults, kids really pick up on.  They sometimes repeat them so be careful.  I also realize how intuitive young kids, the mentally impaired and older adults can be.  Sometimes you have to remember who is saying something and if they really even know how the phrasing of something can be hurtful and if they meant it that way.  If they didn't, just laugh it off and pick on them later if you must.  People get overwhelmed and have no clue sometimes.  It's just laughable to watch, if you can step away and look at it from afar.  Just wanted to put that out there in hopes that I help someone out in cyberworld (though no one reads this...I only blog to get out thoughts and feelings since Paul passed).  Just lighten up and enjoy the time you have on this earth.  You never know when your time will come (Led Zep ref).  It isn't worth it to live your life being stressed.  Appreciate it and live it.  Surround yourself with good people and good friends and things that interest you.  Don't worry, be happy (an old lame but fun 80s song thrown in).

If it comes back to you, it was yours forever.

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be. - Unknown

This quote is so true and I am so glad I decided to listen for once and lay off.  Things are beautiful and almost immediately!  It is hard for me to not lead a relationship, but sometimes you have to just go with the flow and let the man feel like he's got the reins, for a while at least (until he gets lost).  LOL

Here are some quotes that I am feeling close to at the moment...

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Cold Play - Fix You

"So without saying much you know you really say something
Hold me to your chest I can feel your heart jumping
Take it easy mama we can go about it casually"
Butch Walker and the Black Widows - Sweethearts

"Yeah, it's plain to see (plain to see)
That baby you're beautiful
And there's nothing wrong with you
(Nothing wrong with you)
It's me, I'm a freak (yeah)
But thanks for lovin' me
Cause you're doing it perfectly
(It perfectly)"
"Just don't give up I'm workin it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down"
Pink and Adam Lambert - Whataya Want from Me

"I need your patience and guidance
And all your lovin' and more
When thunder rolls through my life
Will you be able to weather the storm?
There's so much I would give ya, baby
If I'd only let myself"
"I'd rather bleed with cuts of love
Than live without any scars"
Pink - Love Song

Only Time Will Tell

I hate being sick.  Couldn't get out of bed, eat or drink since 10:30am yesterday until about 7:45am today.  I think a surprise visit by my boyfriend with Gatorade made me so much better.  If only that could have occurred 10 hours prior, but couldn't due to all these additional obligations taking up another 18 hours a week of his already lacking time.  Oh well.  I am going to live by what a new friend told me she lives by, "don't have any expections and you can't be dissappointed".  I will try this for a short time.  "Only Time Will Tell".  I have to be myself, but I also have to give this a full chance and right now there are so many outside factors affecting what would be a good thing.  I just have to wait, if I can, and see if things pan out.  I really hope they do because I think we are worth it.  Patience is not something I have an abundance of and there is also that I deserve time and not to have to wait at least a year for 10 hours to come back to me and I want to be a priority for once or at least when I am sick and alone with no food.

Today's title is from Paul's band Mother Mary

"Just Give Me a Reason" or be "Stuck in a Rutt"

So I am very confused about this whole dating thing.  I am so used to being the number one priority in Paul's life that I find hard to be last priority over everything else.  The only thing I believe I should be after in that list is someone's children.  This could just be because it is still a budding relationship and I will be 2nd priority always once I gain the love behind his heart that's barracaded.  It's definitely an adjustment.  I found myself competing with other things for time and didn't like myself for being so emotionally wrecked by this.  I have decided that I will not stress anymore and use the "if it comes back to you" theory.  If I don't become priority and somewhat soon I deserve more and will get more easily elsewhere.  I hate games.  I like honesty and I strive for it.  I just can't always rearrange my life to fit into someone else's as much as I want to spend time with him if he isn't even trying back.  It feels like someone who isn't into me and is selfish on his part.  I can't have someone constantly thinking I am guilting them to spend time with me or manipulating them or playing games when I am just being truthful about my feelings.  I am too nice, too innocent, too old and too sensitive to do any of that crap.  I don't like baggage and past girlfriend's bad characteristics being placed on me.  I also don't like banging up against people's emotional walls.  I am an open book.  I tell things as they are and don't like holding back my feelings.  I think it is important in a  relationship.  Just like me for who I am.  Accept me.  I am an amazing person and I am not trying to convince myself of that I know that.  I am beautiful inside and out.  If you don't appreciate me someone else will.  Stop trying to let things sort themselves out because you don't want to make waves or disappoint someone.  Just man up and make a decision.  Any decision on anything.  People will get over it.  If you feel bad you committed to something you don't have time for, then tell them.  Don't waste people's time or people's money or hurt those people closest to you while making up your mind.  Don't ignore them while they are growing into adults by not giving them your time.  Don't let someone else make the decision for you by ending it for you because you can't get the balls to say I can't do this.  Don't take it out on me just because you can.  Also, if you keep choosing something you don't even want to do anymore over me constantly you will lose me because it shows I mean less than something you don't like.  That will be your doing.  Hence the song Stuck in a Rutt by Stereophonics.  The song from Pink with Nate that also gained the half the title of this post reminds me of hope and what I would like to happen.  Let's wait and see.

P!nk and Nate Ruess - Just Give me a Reason

Oh, tear ducts and rust
I'll fix it for us
We're collecting dust
But our love's enough
You're holding it in
You're pouring a drink
No nothing is as bad as it seems
We'll come clean
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

Here is what the whole post is about ...
Stuck in a Rutt by the Streophonics

You make do with your lot,
You got a choice to make,
You gotta follow your gut,
Your heads in a state,
You're stuck in a rut,
You're wasting days,
Time don't wait so..

What you've got is long gone
Draw a line in the sand
Your poker face is shot
I can see through your hand
Stop lying to yourself
Gotta make new plans
Time don't wait for no man

You're stuck in a rut and your life is forgotten