But I can live without you if it makes you smile...

...titled after a line from a Butch Walker song.  I was thinking yesterday how I used to catch myself out of nowhere smiling to myself or laughing at a random thought or stray memory.  I don't think I have done that in over a year since I lost Paul and then my dog.  I miss that.  When it used to happen I would think how moronic I must look from someone else's perspective.  I would be just laughing to myself while walking the street, sitting in the office, in a store, etc.  Now, once again, I realize how something so simple can be missed and show the state of things.  Nothing will ever be the same.